Yip… you read the title right – Skylar is not all mine, and it took me a long time to accept it (that’s what I tell myself)
When you hold your newborn in your arms you know they need you and only you. Their little world revolves around you and you around them. Everyone else kinda takes a back seat in most cases.
You realize you are not alone. Baby will happily be fed by someone else or you need to go out and have them looked after. Slowly you start to accept that someone else can take the reigns.
In the first couple of months after Skylar was born her dad traveled out of country a lot, which meant I was the sole parent. The parent that made all the decisions on what nappy we bought, what brand of bottle and formula we would purchase and where baby would sleep (next to me obviously).
This was not permanent- soon hubby’s commitments were over on that contract and more time was spent at home. Which meant he could observe more and start to give his two cents of “parenting genius”.
Did I say I am extremely possessive of my child yet?… well I am. She is Allllll mine right? I carried her for 9 months – so why should I not get all the say. Totally wrong I know, but I find it every hard to separate Skylar from myself – like she is me and I am her – it does sound crazy?… probably.
Hence my totally resistance to outside suggestions that I could be doing some things wrong or should be doing it differently.
There have been many a heated word said within my household on what better way to bring up our child. You see my husband and I are very strong willed people and I am not a classic wife who will bow to the man of the house. So we butt heads – it happens, that’s life – no fairytale nonsense here. We are real people.
We are getting better though and trying hard to work together and agree on methods of raising our child.
Cue…. mommy goes back to work… gasp
That stark reality that my daughter will spend more hours in the day with other people and not me. There will be other women impacting her life and brining her up.
This was a toughy – you see when you send your child to daycare you have to adjust to their way of bringing up children from discipline, sleep habits and eating. Your precious child will not be treated any differently to the other children.
You might have said – I will never put my child in the naughty corner – but that is not everyone’s way. I had to accept this. As part of Skylar’s upbringing – others will have a say. And it’s not just the big stuff too. I have to accept I am not the first person to teach my daughter twinkle twinkle little star or how to jump or say please and thank you.
I have to accept that I am not there all the time. I can’t say yes or no to everything she does. Or be there to stop her hearing a conversation I don’t agree too or when she’s hurt comfort her and kiss her “owe” and say it’s all better.
This scenario plays out a little differently to those that choose domestic help with their children. Yes you can tell your nanny exactly how you want your child raised. But I have had many a friend say they battle when the child only wants the nanny when crying and rejects the mom at times. Those moms too have to silently relinquish the role as the only “mom”.
It’s a hard hitting fact when this hits you. I know I am still not fully accepting of this fact. And I am still a mom who wants to have full control and have it all my way. But Skylar is her own person, her own human being and one day she will make decisions for herself (she is making a lot of them already).
If you are feeling the same feels as me… comment below and let me know.