First Trimester – you B**ch – arggg it was a rough couple of weeks. This is not a blog post, covered in sprinkles.
When my daughter was born, we had the option to go back on birth control. I opted not to, I thought it was silly, why would I need birth control – it took us 6 years to have Skylar. If we did fall pregnant within the first year, I would not have minded at all. I thought our chances would be slim. A year passed and then another, Skylar turned two and not any hope of a sibling on the horizon.
For those that know my history – I suffer from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which means I don’t ovulate regularly, and if I do, it is not always viable – and my menstrual cycles are not consistent.
If you have struggled with infertility, and succeeded in having a baby, you are more than likely rather grateful for the child that you have. Well that is how I felt, I was content, that I had Skylar, and that I never for a moment thought we would be that lucky again.
Being pregnant and being a woman who has had two miscarriages before Skylar and then years of trying – I won’t lie, I am still terrified something will go wrong with this pregnancy. Everyday I see as a blessing.
If I could of held out telling our news till the baby was safely in my arms I would – but it’s rather hard to hide. If any of you have felt that way you are not alone. You can comment below and let me know.
I hold my breath before every scan hoping for the signs of life and the smile on the gynes face telling me all is well. Even though I get all the pregnancy symptoms – some that are really annoying, I am also appreciative of them, they remind me that all is okay and baby is growing.
And that it is…. any moms doing this a second or third or more time. Will agree your body really feels the pregnancy more…. or maybe it’s my age? I am sure if I was pregnant in my early twenties and not my thirties things would be different. The first trimester knocked me for a six – extreme fatigue, my brain went on vacation and the nausea was unrelenting. Plus this time around I have a 2 year old to contend with and can’t just chill on the weekend with my feet up.
It’s amazing how delicate I acted in my first pregnancy, not doing much so scared to move or lift heavy things. Now I walk around the shop with an 11kg child on my hip…. plus watching out for a excited toddler not jumping on your tummy.
I hope I am not harping on tooo much. But I have to write this down somewhere before I forget and I know I will. My preggy brain is full reliant on lists at the moment.
For those that asked. Skylar is not too sure what being a sister is all about. She thinks she too has a baby in her tummy and so does dad…. She has been too sweet helping rub cream on my belly and then I have to do the same to her. If anyone has any tips on toddlers and pregnancy please send them through. From speaking to them about it. To adjusting the home.
A common question one gets asked with a second pregnancy is what gender would you prefer. I honestly thought I would have a clear cut answer and be resolute. I really don’t mind either, I don’t know if it has anything to do with the thought that I was not going to have another. So I am grateful for just getting the chance to mother another child again. Skylar’s dad is hoping for another girl – you would think boy right? So did I, was shocked at the answer. Did you hope for a specific gender?
Life can really throw you a curve ball. Especially when you don’t know it’s coming. I am feeling all the feels and I am sure it’s amplified by the crazy hormones. Worried about how we are going to cope with two children. How I will juggle work and two kids and still have a little bit of time for myself. All these things keep on playing around and around in my head.
I am now in my second trimester and welcoming NO nausea and renewed energy.
If you are expecting next year. Comment below and let me know.