Before you fell pregnant and while you were pregnant, did you have any clue what co-sleeping was?
I must admit I had no idea. The only time I read about the term “co-sleeping” was through my fellow Instagram moms. Like many parents, I had a set idea of how I was going to mother my child, I asked many friends’ questions on what they did with their babies, how they put them to sleep etc. I had no intention that Skylar was ever sleep in our bed, she had her Moses basket and cot, and that is where she would sleep… right…? How naive was I…
Skylar was born mid-winter, and breastfed. I also chose to breastfed her on demand too. Another important aspect that formed our co-sleeping journey, was my babies’ lack of interest in a dummy, she did not want to self-sooth. We were her comfort, I don’t know if this is right or wrong, but it was right for us. On those cold night and many late night feeds it was just easier to have her fall asleep in my arms, and many times that is where she would stay till her next feed. I learnt the art of sleeping sitting up, with many pillows behind me.
We are not full time “co-sleepers”
Most nights Skylar before the age of 1 would sleep during the night, half in our bed and half in her Moses basket next to me. I wanted her super close, as I would check on her throughout the night (I still do and she is 2… you know… is she still breathing). I was also selfish and wanted her close to me, during her first year, her dad worked away a lot and it was easier for her to be in the bed with me. I think the word easier, and “works” comes up a lot in parenting. Skylar from 1 to 2 and now 2 onwards, sleeping in her room most nights. 3 nights out of 7 in the week, she is full time sleeping in our bed. From being wrestles in the beginning, to crying 2 hours in and then walking to our room. We really don’t mind her there that extra time spent with her, even if we are asleep is better than nothing.
It must work for you
You need sleep, baby needs sleep, the whole house hold needs a good night sleep, to be happy, healthy productive people the next day. Do what works for you, I am sure you have heard that many times, but it is so true. If you are a wrestles sleeper or someone that thrashes around in bed, I don’t advise having a small little person sharing the bed with you, it will drive you nuts – unless you have a rather large bed. Also both you and your partner need to be happy with the situation, if you decide to co-sleep with you baby/toddler. There is no need for fights and disagreements, or one partner sleeping in another room.
There are also many amazing products availble on the market to assist you, if you choose to co-sleep, from sleeping pods, to open side cribs that fit on the side of the bed.
With our son (first time I have typed that word), I am not sure how we are all going to fit in our bed… I think we might have to upgrade in size. I don’t see our co-sleeping journey changing too soon. But I do know it’s not going to be easy juggling a baby who is feeding throughout the night, to a toddler wanting extra cuddles. If you have any advice – please let me know.
I asked the mamas of Instagram their opinion on co-sleeping, and you will see there is no right or wrong answer. Whichever way that suits you is the ‘right way’.
- suzzzfick I feel that co-sleeping definitely helps when baba is feeling cranky from teething, having nightmares or when she is sick! Current sleeping routine: Olivia is 2 years old (26 months) and either my husband or I lie with her until she falls asleep. I know it might not be the best habit, but it works for us….most of the time. They grow up soooo damn fast and if I must sleep with her and hold her tight until she no longer needs it to fall asleep…then I will.
- us_saltydawgs My almost 11 YO still needs someone to put him to sleep and regularly comes through at night to ask for Dad to go sleep in his bed. Every night is musical beds. The other lies across the bottom of our queen size bed so I can’t straighten my legs, I end up tossing and turning. We’re often exhausted in the morning. I’ll just leave that there…
- jaxs_holmes I personally don’t do co-sleeping. I feel that is the time that baby/kiddies needs to recharge by themselves in their own bed and that mommy and daddy need as their own space. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against cuddling in bed with your little one or them coming through in the middle of the night if they are scared and need a cuddle etc – but I don’t believe that a child should sleep in your bed from the moment they fall asleep until the morning. My little girl has never spent an entire night in our bed and we have had some rough nights where I have wanted to ‘give in’ and have her in our bed but we pushed through and now she falls asleep on her own at night and comes through for cuddles in the morning. This way I feel we all get a good nights sleep. But this is what works for our family and each family is different.
- ollypollykids Olive has always been fiercely independent and likes her own space. When Gavs away for work though she adores our girls night “sleep overs” when we cuddle up together in my bed.
- kel_herbst We co-sleep. Simply put, it keeps her happy, and us happy and we all get to sleep! My Doula also reassured me that one day they will want to sleep in their own bed. Much easier transition than a big screaming match every night, I think😊 I think if both parents are happy, and baby is happy, that’s all that counts every family is different x
- deruschkagovender From day one Harinyah has slept in her own cot which is in our room,she only ever comes into our bed when she’s having a bad night(sick/teething) and once asleep we put her back in her cot.im not opposed to co sleeping but so far our way works for us.it is easier for mums who bf,I just used to bf and once she was asleep move her to her cot,she never woke up for feeds during the night.so it’s kind of the best of both,they are close by but also not in ur bed
- adventureswithkellan I think every family should do what works for them. We co-sleep and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Even animals sleep next to their young to protect them and make them feel safe and loved so don’t see why I should have to make my little boy sleep alone in another room…
- a.m.m.y__ Absolutely loooove Co-sleeping with my bub, my fiancé prefers it as well, it’s been super easy and extra comfortable with him at our side. They are only little for such a short amount of time,so why not have them in bed with you to snuggle all the time I think it also brings them comfort. Animals don’t sleep without their young so I don’t see why we should sleep without ours and Nuki g doesnt have to be done in a bed
- kanchg We have co-slept with our son since he was a baby. He turns two next week. Trying to get him into the cot now though, he sleeps a few hours then wakes up and comes to our bed. I would def co-sleep with our next bub too!
- sonjavzyl I love co-sleeping, did it with my son till he was 3.5 yrs old and currently with my daughter who turned 2 in Oct. She still breastfeeds once or twice a night so it is just easier for me not to have to be awake for that as I work full time with 2 sidelines and have a teenager in the house who needs help with homework constantly. I don’t have anyone working for me so I do all housework on my own and gardening over some weekends. I feel this is how we get the most sleep and it works for us. When she is sick I instantly “feel” something is wrong and I can immediately respond according. I lovit
- riapd I think you need to do what suits your family. My husband and I are really bad sleepers and both suffer from bouts of insomnia. Neither of us fall asleep with our toddler, but love lying with her ‘till she drifts off… and do it very often during the night when she needs us.
- lauraritchie85 We did a bit of both, when Em was having a sleep regression or when she just needed extra cuddles and when I still breastfed her she often slept in the bed with us. Now she enjoys sleeping in her own bed and rarely comes through to us during the night. When she does it’s usually 3/4 am then she’ll sleep in bed with us.
- is.bentleys.world We tried to the no no to co sleeping but never got sleep… he has been co sleeping with us for a while now but I must be honest I don’t enjoy or like it as he is such a wrestlers sleeper but I find I don’t have to get out of bed and fully wake up so I feel less Mombie in the morning but I do wish he would sleep through in his own bed… to be honest mom and dad need the “bed” back
- arabellazz_ My LO is 17 months now and falls asleep in his own toddler bed (in my room) but gets in to ours halfway through the night. We don’t mind it – he’s been in our bed since little. But I do feel it’s time to transition because no 2 is on the way
- t_a_m_z_i_n We are co-sleeping with our 14 month and I am struggling to put him down at night in his cot on his own. Still breastfeeding so the bed works for us, just I need evenings to myself! I want him to fall asleep in his cot and I can move him to bed if he need a feed during the night. Breaking the “bad habit” is proving to be difficult
- followingthebean Some night I still co sleep on ‘demand’
- tamtamviljoen Our baby is 4.5 months old. She slept in a bassinet next to our bed till she outgrew it a couple of weeks ago! She is now in her cot no problems and sleeps the same (maybe wakes up once) husband generally fetches her at around 6 am for morning cuddles! I must say it was definitely easier next to the bed in terms of that one feed (breastfeeding) when she was just born (and I worried about her every breath😂 – my husband would occasionally put her in the bed with us, but I didn’t sleep comfortably AT ALL! Different strokes and all that
- keep_up_with_kieran I was that mom who while pregnant said “My baby will NEVER be in my bed, its dangerous blah blah blah” 😂🤣 Lets just take a moment to laugh at my pre-newborn ignorance. Once i had Kieran who was breastfeeding day and night every 2 hours, I barely had the strength to open my eyes let alone get out of bed. He has been in my bed since day one. Its been 2.5 years now. I must say I do miss my space and he does disturb me a lot at night and if I move around then I disturb him but he won’t budge and I’m ok with that
- _three_little_monkeysI’ve never been a fan, I’ve always swayed to the viewpoint of keeping your bedroom and bed as a sanctuary, a special place for me and my husband. I think you’re just shooting yourself in the foot haha because it’s much harder to kick a 5 year old out your bed than having your newborn in their own room from the start. My sister is the complete opposite
- karenfeuth My view….as long as everyone gets to sleep….it doesnt matter where. I used to be very embarrassed to say my 2 year old sleeps between my husband and I….until someone said, why does it matter….the goal is to sleep, no point in trying all the tricks in the book and waking up 3 times a night. Now she is 3 years old….and just one day decided to sleep in her own bed. (And how I miss those little cuddles)
- littlemamashouse The only way with both my babies. They just need to feel close to us otherwise they won’t sleep. Also with breastfeeding, it’s easiest for mama to have baba next to her. At least I get to sleep too
3 thoughts on “What the… ? Is Co-sleeping?”
Sounds exactly like our situation, what works for mum works for the household. You are due before I am with your number 2, please let me know how it goes!
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My twin are 3 at the end of Feb – they’ve been in their own room since they came home from the hospital, sleeping through from 2.5 months and parents who are against co-sleeping. However our situation changed when we moved them into beds in October last year and have barely had a solid nights sleep. Being a strong believer in not allowing them in our bed we pursued all methods and advice from professionals about getting our toddlers to sleep through – 5 months of hell, 3 hour temper tantrums, waking 8 times a
night (you get the picture) – 3 weeks ago we were forced to separate them as my one daughter had pneumonia – 1 in the bed with daddy and the other with me – they have slept through the night every night! Although still against it – I totally get why parents co-sleep and have decided to settle with getting a good night’s rest (not to mention I enjoy the cuddles). One thing we have learnt is we are proof that the norm doesn’t always apply and all the sleep training made our situation worse. Every family needs to do what works for them. We now have both girls back in their bed with mommy sleeping on a mattress with them and when they feeling secure again I will move back to our bed.
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Thanks so much for your comment. Wow the struggle is real. Especially when they are not well. We lie with skylar in her big girl bed until she falls asleep then slowly go out the room. Some nights she sleep through others. She wakes and just wants us. But I choose sleep every time over any convention. Happy parents equals happy kids. And you are right do what works for you. They won’t be like it at 16… well we hope